What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
