so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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