I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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