omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
