He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
