she smelled like a LAN party
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
