I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
