Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
