I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
