nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
