He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
