Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize