i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
