You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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