im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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