all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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