We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So squirting runs in the family.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
