Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
