so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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