We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
