this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
