apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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