Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
