I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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