he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
