I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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