Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
only you would photoshop your dick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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