i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
