yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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