dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize