Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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