My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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