he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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