my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had to cum in my sink.
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