I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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