Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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