She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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