I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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