The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
