I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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