You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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