I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize