He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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