real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize