He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
