im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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