Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize