the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
