He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
