**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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