youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
