doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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