Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
