I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
