Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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