i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
