I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
