this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
