youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
