I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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