Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
