Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
