Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
