he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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