I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
