your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize