The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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