Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
