Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
