we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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