:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
