My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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