look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
