she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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