I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we made out on top of his cat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
