I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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