i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
