You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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