Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize